My no good very bad valentines day

What was once the bathroom rug.

This is just not my day… It started off terrible. First at about 2 am one of the dogs crawled into bed and ultimately pushed me right out. Got back in… Went to sleep again…. Couldn’t get the dog out though so he is still there waiting to throw me out again. But, before he could manage to repeat his crime…. Dr. Farmer Moomin, got up to go to work. He knows I have trouble on ice. My balance does not even exist. I am a clutz. He did me the great kindness of feeding The Outside People, (The Outside People, is what we call the goats, geese, ducks, and chickens.) For this kindness I am truly grateful.

Dr. Farmer Moomin, comes back up stairs, to let me know he is leaving and he is leaving all 3 dogs in the bedroom… I make him put the Dane, who will come roll me out of bed a second time, in the hall. And the barking commenceth. It is nearly 7 am. So up we all get myself and my other 2 dogs, and we head downstairs to hang out. We barely make it to the neighbor’s for Pikku’s daily romp with my neighbor’s giant dog. It is how a manage the madness of 3 dogs of varying sizes from 20 lbs to 110 lbs….. It’s how I keep my home calm and stable. The play date as usual went fine, but my third and little man insisted on joining us. Once there he spent his time threatening the big dogs. Unwise. We stood out there for an hour in weather that with wind chill was about 0 f. Finally, unable to feel my feet we headed back across the ice sheet that once was my mini field. By some miracle of the Goddess, Discordia, I made it home without breaking my neck…. Slowly….. Very very slowly. I feed the inside people (dogs and or homo sapien sapiens, or the right cat…. We don’t have an inside cat…. Maybe we need one. No I am not serious, that was a joke.) Then we all went out for a moment with Yoda, my rather strong middle sized guy, so he could do some business. In we come. My turn to eat and cuz it’s winter, and we don’t have a green house or anything else that needed me at that point, I put on some lectures on Anthropology through The Great Courses.

Fast forward to later…. Yoda, my middle sized guy, wants to go out again. So we do. Except he start tugging on his leash suddenly and I am on a sheet of ice with no core strength due to an injury that I am still working on getting full function back from. And my luck ran out. For the second time today I am falling. But frozen ground is very hard. I fell on my pelvis and knee. It really hurt and I am gonna be sore for days but I don’t think I did any further serious damage, all grattitude to Discordia!….

And today is valentines day to top it all off and now I am too wrecked from my fall to really want to go out or do anything later…. It’s just something about february 14th. I always imagined a great romantic day when I was young and single…. Then the same even 12 years into my marriage. And yet nope it just always has to suck. If it isn’t being single that wrecks it…. It is something rude or crude your date says during your fancy romantic dinner. Or it is your husband simply not caring that ruins it… Or it might be you just not being in the mood to celebrate love. Not this year. This year it is spoiled by dogs. Yep, the dogs have killed my valentine’s dream this year…. I wonder what it’s gonna be next year. This is a farm. On a farm, it’s always something. Still, I wouldn’t trade any of it to be rid of the giant bruise now on my right hip and knee. There is a price to pay to farm. You lose sleep… You lose a lot of things, convenience of being close to the city, the respect of family and friends who just don’t understand why you need to do this. Time for yourself, vacations…. etc…. It is labor intensive. It is also an act of love for this planet and it’s inhabitents. I think that is the love I am going to celebrate today…. And it is because of that love you get up every morning and do it all again. Because you know, if you don’t who will? And if no one does, how will humanity continue on this planet? That is being a farmer.

After my fall, we came back inside, I was irritable and in pain. So, I had some choice words for the doggies… And then I put Pikku, in the hall so I could have 10 minutes to eat something, (she is a food troll.) When I let her out, she brought with her my only presently remaining bathroom rug which actually is a joke about pets and she shredded it…. I don’t know what else can go to hell in a hand basket but I am pretty cranky.

Now, I am off to try to love what I do.
There are days it is a struggle.
But, I am a fighter. I have yet to see a struggle I won’t fight through.
Been at that since age 5 when I was hit by a car, which was followed by learning to live with less hearing when they discovered a problem in my left inner ear, which was followed by my war with my own dyslexia for literacy….. And it keeps going.
I may be battered… I may feel some pain. I may be in a bad mood all day.
But I am not beaten.
Thank you for reading
Amanda Of Wildflower Farm

Tags: farm life

About wildflowerfarm

Wildflower Farm, is a small New England homestead, B&B and AirBnB, in the Baystate. We came out here 7 years ago, when we returned from the better part of 10 years as peripatetic aristotelian nomads, for my husband's post docs. Upon our return, we had a plan. We had a lovely home. Everything was so clear. Then, I got sick. Things I used to eat all the time during our travels elsewhere in the world and even here before I left almost 10 years earlier made me ill. It took a couple trips to the ER and a trip to specialist... It became clear, something had changed in the way food is processed in this country since last I lived here. Some off label things was inevitably going to be my demise.

My husband and I looked around to see the clear path we were on, had exploded in front of us. We decided we had to create a new path for ourselves. We put children on hold. We found a small piece of land with a house we loved in a rural suburb in a right to farm area. I began researching how to do it ourselves. Grow it ourselves, make it ourselves, survive on our own as much as possible. We bought the property, and began plotting a new course. One that didn't involve off label chemicals. Closer to nature, with a lot more DIY, gardens, and animals for the products they provide. We created a life we loved though it hasn't always been easy and has of course come with compromise with each other, and even with ourselves.

Our family thought we had lost our minds. What were we doing leaving the city? We had no idea how hard this would be. They thought we would be back in 6 months. That was over 7 years ago, now. We have been making it work. They were not wrong, it isn't easy. But has anything worth doing ever been easy? And for us, avoiding as much store bought food as possible was simply necessary so I could live given how sick I was getting.

Then Covid hit.... We were lucky to have this place. It has allowed us a lot less need for public use territories which has kept us a lot safer and spared us much of the risk others face daily. This place, has given us a privilege through this of great meaning to us. To be of use in a difficult time. We have been able to help friends family and even strangers in need when things couldn't be found on store shelves. Or money was tight due to not working, rent being due and a child at home, or some other draining situation. We are so very grateful to have been able to not be helpless like so much of society through this miserable time. Our families, got used to it some time ago, us being out here. They made peace with it the day there was no bread and they had to ask me for some. Or when fresh vegies were rotten due to supply chain issues but they could find plenty in my garden.

Wildflower Farm, was a place I dreamed of. One of those sweet pastoral dreams a city dweller grows up knowing will never come true, that became unavoidable when I became ill. I never expected to get to do this. I never thought I had what it takes to make this work. I have learned pacing myself is important, compromise is critical, hard work never ends, burn out is real so breaks are just a necessary evil.

We are not fully self sufficient, but we work hard in that direction as we create a new path through life for ourselves, always reaching to do even more ourselves and to get closer to the ideal we envision. We are however far more self sufficient than many in this world. 7 years in, we continue to learn and grow in this homesteading lifestyle. We welcome comments and advice and ideas and questions.

We welcome visitors from all over to our home with strict covid policies in place. We spend our time learning to live all over again in a more environmental and sustainable way though even there we are far from perfect always learning and growing doing better as we know better.

This little homestead farm is a magical place named for the New England wildflowers that grow all around. A place where a physicist, watches the night sky on clear nights with the aide of mirror and glass, and a woman, works endlessly in the gardens, the kitchen, and a variety of projects to create and to keep a very unique life style running and functioning. Wildflower Farm, has become so much more than simply a piece of land we can grow a few vegetables on. The longer I spend here, the more alive the land seems, the more I learn about it's function and the more meaning it has. My place in the universe and the next steps on our new path become ever more clear.

We welcome you on this journey with us.

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My no good very bad valentines day

My no good very bad valentines day

About wildflowerfarm

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