Punked!

Most people are unaware, that when the sky is blue with small wispy clouds and temperatures rise into a range one might expect on Venus, rather than earth, goats get pissy. They get themselves up to no good and engage in random acts of evil. The heat seems to bring out their innate naughtiness.

It was still early when I went to do the morning milking and while it was hotter than the hell the South Park devil left in order to engage in his elicit affair with a certain president….. The temperature was still climbing to obscene heights that can only be categorized as one thing, climate change. 

As always, I left the house, with my milking pyrex, and headed towards the goat pen. There, I was met by some flies, mosquitoes, the shed spiders, and an assortment of goats screaming at me as they do every morning. I headed first to check their water to make sure it was sufficient on this uber hot day. It never ceases to amaze me how much water goats like to suck down considering how hard they try to avoid the stuff when it falls from the sky… Then I walked towards the shed with their living quarters on one side and a milking station on the other side of a half wall Dr. Farmer Moomin built some time ago now to keep the two spaces separate. 

As I approached the shed, I noticed our oldest goat in the very back of the living quarters half of the shed. She appeared to be collapsed and dead. I had a small freak out. Started to bang on the side of the shed and yell. To see if I could raise her from a death like sleep. But she didn’t move a muscle. Just lay there in a heap giving off dead goat vibes. I backed up, a few tears fell. Asstrid, had been with us for a long time. One of our first goats here at Wildflower. Her death was the end of an era in a sense. So I said the Buddhist prayer for dead animals, pronounced but perhaps not spelled, na mu amita bul. It is a cry for compassion for the dead consciousness. A statement that this once living thing was loved and cared for. A request that they be born into a better life when and if they are reborn. It is an indication to the universal powers that be, that this once living thing is not alone and has impacted the lives of others so positively that they are with them even in death. Asstrid, lay there… All 90 unliftable lbs of her. 

I decided, after taking a moment to mourn her, that I would milk the others, then go inside to bring Dr. Farmer Moomin, home even though he had only just left for work. He could lift her out of the pen and lay her on the grass outside it. Then I would call the crematorium, they would come collect her and in a few days once they returned her ashes, we would have a small ceremony to spread her ashes.

I have my hands on goat teet and I am squeezing the milk out when I start to feel eyes on my back. I can feel that I am being watched… So I turn around, to look over the half wall at my back. My dead goat is standing there with a hideous shit eating grin on her face. She appears to be laughing at me… I got punked by a goat! She was playing a prank on me and I fell for it like a stooge. Later in the day she was still smirking about her prank. She and Stella, were hanging out laying there and soon as they saw me coming for evening milking…. The smirking began. I was punked then mocked by goats today…

I have decided that goats are evil as a result of this experience. Oh I still love them and they are still adorable. But what a sick mean prank. Then mocking my sorrow and loss… Goats, can be so mean. They never tell you about how mean goats can be in the books about raising them. They seriously should warn you. Otherwise, goats get away with all kinds of naughtiness and pranks. I literally got punked by a goat today…. I have no idea where to file that… So that was what my day was all about. 

Thank you for reading
Amanda Of Wildflower Farm
and Asstrid, who’s name is spelled with two Ses, for reasons.